Following my blog post on Fifty Shades of Grey, Lili and I have been talking on and off about the book and how we can’t imagine it being made into a movie. Apparently the rights to make a movie based on this book have been sold.
I’m almost done with the book … think I’m about 75% through it.
The more I read it, the more improbable it seems that a movie can be made from it. Especially a movie that should rightly appeal to young girls – who probably make up the largest segment of the series’ fan base.
Honestly, if the movie were to stay true to the book, it would be a movie that could only be shown at Yangtze cinema – the dodgy place in People’s Park where all the uncles go to to catch R(A) movies that are hardly artistic.
How and why?
1. There’s a lot of “I’m going to spank you and then f*** you” statements from Christian Grey
So every time Ana does something that annoys the shit out of her “master”, Christian would always expressed his desire to carry out some punishment followed by a session of hard, carnal exertion. Seriously, the two of them must be popping Viagra with their meals. They just seem ever-ready to f*** each other brains’ out.
2. There is explicit description about how Christian used his “playroom”
In Ana’s first proper introduction to the room of pain, she is made to kneel down in a submissive’s pose, then she is bound and tied, and banged to within an inch of her life. During that one session alone, she comes like, what, five times – how is that even possible? It’s not even small waves of orgasms followed by one explosive stunner. It’s FIVE INTENSE EXPLOSIVE HEART-STOPPERS. It’s not physically possible for that to happen without her risking a cardiac arrest. Really.
3. I’m sure I’ll find another reason why this is inappropriate movie-material by the end of the book.
But anyway, since this WILL be made into a movie, Lili and I naturally got to talking about which actor would most likely to cast as Christian Grey.
Basically, Christian Grey is apparently very handsome, very hunky, has quite a considerable amount of hair since he likes to “run his hand through his hair” whenever he’s exaperated, and, if I remember correctly, he’s not blonde. Now, I think this dude has got to have an element of “darkness” about him that can be quite sexy. He can’t be too old so that leaves Michael Fassbender out of the running. Christian Grey is quite young … he’s about 28 in the book? This dude also has to be able to look quite cold and he has to have quite mystifying eyes.
I decided that the perfect actor for Christian Grey is Cilian Murphy.
This actor isn’t young. But at least his face isn’t lined with age. He can pass off as a man in his late 20s. And he has done pretty dark roles in the past. You’ll remember him in 28 Days Later, Inception and Batman Begins.
When I told Lili this, she agrees! Or at least she pretended to really well … haha! She told me that people are petitioning for Ryan “Blank Eyes” Gosling to be Christian Grey. WTF?!? That’s not possible. That dude is incapable of expressing anything and Christian Grey – if the casting people really gives a damn – is capable of going from warm to cold, from happy to dark, from angry to lusty in a blink of the eye. Ryan Gosling is a bit bland, no?
Upon further thought, I think Ian Somerhalder also can. He’s got dark hair. He’s quite young. Quite fresh-faced. And he’s got experience acting quite dark and tortured given his Vampire Diaries background.
Anyway, just some random piece while waiting for more layouts from my Art team. If you know who else can be Christian Grey, tell me!